her |həː, hə| pronoun [ third person singular ]1 used as the object of a verb or preposition to refer to a female person previously mentioned or easily identified: She boldly shared her story.

Each one of us has a story. Stories of love, loss, heartbreak, hope… Whatever your story may be, I believe there is power in sharing your testimony and encouraging one another through the ups and downs of life.  

I’ve been hosting a monthly get-together called, Equipped by Faith, where my girlfriends and I come together to pray, study the word of God and encourage one another in our faith. It is so important to invest in healthy relationships–especially when it comes to finding Godly women to surround yourself with.

This month, my incredible friend, Tiffany Hendra came to share her story at our gathering. Tiffany is one of my favorite people in the whole world. She is a girl’s girl, always championing other women to succeed. She really believes in people, and has a way of calling things out of you that you didn’t even know were there. I am a better person for knowing Tiffany, so I just couldn’t keep her all to myself!

I hope you enjoy reading through Tiffany’s thoughts on life, love and relationships from our Q&A session with her this month!

Q&A with Tiffany Hendra

1. What do you think you were put on this earth for? What is your greatest dream in life?
“I’m a Change Agent. A Communicator. A Confidence Builder. I know what it’s like to have no confidence in yourself. I lived a shame-based life for many years, and I wore a mask of having a fabulous career in LA as a model and an actress–but inside, I was scared to death of everything. All the decisions I made were fear-based. But, when you are a confident woman, and you know your identity in Christ–you can rule the world. So many incredible things can happen when women step into their own identity and confidence, and truly know who they are in Christ. I might push and nudge you a little bit, but that’s just because I want to encourage you to become all that God has created you to be. When women step out of their comfort zone–amazing things happen. You grow, you stretch–and you become the woman that God has destined you to become!”

2. What are some of the obstacles that you have had to go through to get to the point you are at now?
“I had major daddy issues growing up. He put a roof over the house and food on the table, but he was totally, emotionally unavailable. I was scared to death when I heard his work truck pull up every evening–and that does something to a little girl. You don’t even realize the impact that father’s have on their little girls until they are grown and seeking affirmation and attention from other men. Now, when I talk to young fathers, I encourage them to pour into their daughters–telling them how smart and beautiful they are. I was raped at 16 years old, and everything in my life seemed to spiral downhill from there. I moved to LA and did drugs all throughout my twenties. I slept around and did whatever I could to numb and hide the shame and ugliness I kept deep down inside. I tried everything the world had to offer and found no peace–but then, there was God. I found Him on a bathroom floor. Lean into God during the difficult times in your life. I always visualize myself, curled up in the palm of His big hand when I’m down or afraid. Remember that you don’t have to wallow in your negative thoughts or circumstances. I believe in the power of words – you need to replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Transform the power of your thinking, and watch your life change.”

3. What motivates/inspires you?
“I’m motivated by the idea of not wanting to fall into depression and my deep desire to be obedient to God and to make Him proud. I’m inspired by great women, who passionately pursue their purpose. I really look up to Oprah. Oprah’s job is taken, but I do admire all she has done, in and through her life. Everything I do, I use as a platform to share my story and give other people a voice. I aspire to make an impact like she has through media. Even on Real Housewives, I try the best that I can to remain true to myself and use any platform I may have to encourage others in their journey. I love to mentor young girls, encouraging them to pursue any dream they have in their heart. Sometimes people just need you to believe in them. Speak life into their dreams–and watch what it can do!”

4. What do you want to be remembered by?
“Legacy is something that can be handed down to the next generation. I want to help others find their purpose in life by sharing my story. I couldn’t talk about my rape until I was 30 years old, but I firmly believe now, that my pain has become my purpose. God turns everything around for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Joyce Meyer often says, ‘We are hurt, healed and ready to help.’ We need to use our stories and testimonies to help others in their journey. I used to be so ashamed to tell my story, but when I began to share what I had been through, I realized how many women had been abused just like I was, and how my boldness was giving them the confidence to share their own story and be healed as well. Now, I’m mentoring young woman who were just like me, and potentially saving them from being caught up in situations like I was. I believe the enemy wants to knock young women out when they’re young. He uses rape and molestation to steal a young girl’s identity and wrap her in shame. He is after young girls, but so am I.”

5. What advice would you give to other women who are looking for their purpose in life?
“First and foremost, always seek God to reveal it to you (Matthew 6:33-34). Invite God into your vision board process. God is the one who placed purpose in you. You were born with purpose and destiny. Always seek the one who created you to find out what you were created for. Second, pay attention to the things that light you up. What do people say you’re good at? Where do you add value to someone else? When I’m coaching or speaking, I get so lit up on the inside that I’m almost buzzing. I don’t have to pee, I don’t feel hungry–I am so focused on my purpose. I’m present – not distracted. Pay attention to those things. Lastly, look for those things that set your soul on fire. Look back at what you loved or wanted to be at 10 years old. I wanted to be a teacher and an actress. What do those things have in common? They’re both communicators. We can get so shifted by what our parents want us to do, or distracted by what your friends are doing–but you need to focus on what God has called YOU to do. Pray for laser beam focus. Focus on what God has for you that day. God has divinely ordered your steps each day. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by little things that will take your attention away from that! If you’re always on the phone focused on the people who don’t need your attention right now, you will miss out on God appointments! Finding your purpose and destiny is hard. It puts you in situations where you have to be bold and face your fears–but that, my dear, is where the magic is.”

6. What has been your greatest achievement in life?
“My marriage. After all I’ve been through in life, I didn’t know if I would ever have a healthy relationship or marriage. Part of my purpose as a woman is lifting up my husband. As a wife, you need to be steadfast and a good helpmate. I need to keep other people’s drama out of our home. He is my family, my best friend–and certainly my greatest achievement, second to my relationship with Christ.”

7. How does what you do reflect ministry–what God placed on your heart to share with the world?
“I want everything that I do to be a reflection of Christ and to come from a desire to help others. The New Testament talks about serving God and serving others. Of all people, you want to serve Christ–but He came to this world, to serve us. That’s incredible to me. Mathew 20:28 says, ‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.’ I have a desire to reach and serve women worldwide. I daily pray that God would enlarge my territory and my influence. I pray over my social media, because every one of those likes is one more person that has the opportunity to see one of my posts and be inspired–a chance for a life change. When you think about purpose and legacy, it is all about how you can make the greatest impact and add the most value to someone else’s life. Purpose is always found in serving others in some way.”

8. What are some of your favorite books right now?
Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World  by Bob Goff

9. How do you stay encouraged and faith-filled?
“We have to learn to encourage ourselves in the Lord like David did. It’s great to connect with friends who constantly pump you up, but I’ve learned to stay encouraged by focusing on God’s promises. When you find yourself feeling discouraged or depressed, take a look back at all God has done in your life! I really find myself feeling down when I’m spread too thin. I had to learn how to set boundaries in my life with my friends, family, job and those I was mentoring. When mentoring and helping other women, I can’t be effective in God’s plan for my life if I’m completely overwhelmed. A lot of women validate themselves with being busy, but I try to not even use that word. I don’t want to be busy, I want to be fruitful. If I want to have time to myself, I turn off my phone and unplug. I like to call it, ‘piddling’. I light up a candle, take a hot bath, watch a little television and have ‘me’ time. You have to fill yourself up to be able to pour out to others.”

10. Favorite scripture of the moment?
“I have several favorites, including: 1 Chronicals 4:10, John 10:10 (all the way to the overflow part), and Jeremiah 29:11. But, there is one verse in the scriptures that I really encourage other people to pray over their lives: The Prayer of Jabez in 1 Chronicles 4:10 says, ‘Oh, that you would bless my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.’ When I began praying The Prayer of Jabez over my life, I saw change. We don’t realize that we need to ask for the blessing of the Lord over our own lives. We pray for our husbands, our family, our girlfriends–but oftentimes, we forget to pray for ourselves. Bless me, Lord! Don’t forget to ask Him to take care of you! Oh, that you would bless me indeed – bless me, big time, so I can be a blessing to others!”

Tiffany has inspired so many women to dream bigger, love greater and to fully pursue their God-given destiny. I hope and pray that you were blessed by reading this today!

XO-
Sabrina